Thursday, January 24, 2008

CPR class and guess what...MORE TESTS! Wheeee!

Okay, last things first. This morning, we went for yet another non-stress test. I firmly believe that I could drive, park and walk directly to the Maternal Fetal Medicine department blindfolded with a badger. Why a badger? That's for you to figure out. The test went very well. Kicky was especially funny today as he not only had the hiccups (very audible hiccups, mind you), he was moving right under the monitor. The monitor looked like the Orca, bouncing up and down and moving all around. It was laugh-out-loud funny.

After that we had an appointment to meet another one of Dr. Angle's compatriots, Dr. Dolinger. She was very peppy and seemed to be more excited about the twins than we are. Kathy's blood pressure was a little higher than last time, but she doesn't need to be on bedrest (yet). I think Kathy's going to request to work at home an additional day (Betsy, if you're reading this...Kathy would like to work at home an additional day), which I believe is a very intelligent, responsible concept.

Last night after work we went over to my home away from home (the NW Hospital) and took a class in infant/child CPR. Gotta say, the class was excellent. I took CPR something along the lines of 20 years ago, so this was a good thing. CPR has changed slightly in 2 decades. The nurse even pointed out that I "was old" when I mentioned what we used to be taught. Ha. Ha. Ha. Well, at least I don't have a strong New England accent, lady. The way these two nurses talked only reinforces that we're not naming a kid "Mark" (MAAAAHHHK!! COME IN FOAH DINNAH).

The class was also extremely informative as to how to make your home more child-proof. As you probably can guess, our home is evidently something of a deathtrap for young children. So, more things to add to the "to-do" list. If it sounds like I'm complaining, I'm really not. This is a good thing to do, and I'm happy to do it.

We've been ordering some lovely little items for the babies from Amazon, Kohls (they had an online sale recently) and Target. In case you're wondering, we're registered at Amazon & Target, and we're also happily accepting hand-me-downs. The Johnsons, Dohertys, Haggertys, Bellars, Bennetts, Ericksons and Kleins have already given us so many wonderful clothes, swings, baskets, etc. THANK YOU ALL SO MUCH.

This weekend I plan to steam clean the carpets upstairs. The kitties lived up there for most of 2007, so this cleaning might take a while. I went out and bought a steam cleaner vacuum from Walmart. They had one on sale for like $120. I figured I'll get lots of use out of it, so it should be a good investment.

I think at one point this week I realized that I'm going to be a dad. If it sounds like a "Duh" statement, then you're not a dad (moms are excluded from this realization, obviously). I wonder if all guys get that sudden lightning bolt to the brain that says, "your life is going to change so damned much you won't know what hit you". I think I can handle the lack of sleep. I don't sleep long as it is.

During the safety video at CPR class, they were showing you a list of things not to do. The final entry was "Do not shake your baby". Again, Duh. They then showed an obviously frustrated mother putting her wailing baby in the crib and taking a moment to calm down back to sanity. Yes, ok...the mom was acting, but the baby was really crying. It's a sound I know I'll become familiar with (times two), but still...it's a pretty foreign sound to a guy's ears. The initial reaction to the sound is panic. Oh my God, I broke the baby. What do I do to make it stop.

Don't worry. I'm sure I'll figure it all out and then you can read about it right here. And probably laugh at me and slap your head thinking, "What...a...maroon...Joe...is..." Hey, I can tell you, I'm already there.

All the best,
Maroon