Tuesday, January 8, 2008

Cloverfield Monster revealed: Geoffrey the Toys R Us Giraffe

So the other day Kathy & I went over to Babies R Us to check out car seats. Evidently they won't let you take the babies home from the hospital without car seats properly installed. Of course, in 1969, my mom just threw me into the back of the station wagon and off we went. Times are certainly different. But I digress.

I have to say that stepping into Babies R Us is something of a surreal experience for me. Hey, I'm just a guy. A guy who lived in an apartment for most of my adult life with my recliner/couch. This place is a whole different universe. There is just...so much stuff. I look around and think, "Holy crap...do I need to buy all this stuff? Forget the college fund...I need a Babies R US fund."

Do you know they have an electronic baby seat that will robotically rock your baby and even has an input for your iPod? It's really for the "hands-off" parenting approach, apparently. You can program is to do all sorts of soothing rocking motions. It's not even on the Babies R Us site, it's so new. Maybe it was just a joke. I hope it was just a joke. After all...it shouldn't be for your baby...it should be for ME. I WANT ONE.

Anyway I'm beginning to realize that this whole kid thing is going to be a serious detriment to my spare pocket change. I've heard that infant twins will go through so many diapers your head will explode (hence the reason I'm emptying my brain here, I suppose).

The expenses will be dealt with as they come. There's no real sense in stressing over abstract numbers (yet, the stress is there. Stupid stress...back the #$!& down!!). Overall, I'm praying for healthy children. Having the two get along would be gravy. They'd better...our house isn't big enough to hold grudges.

- Joe